P.s. I’ll probably change my tag/name/username to Swifty. Just cos I’m cool like that.

On a somewhat unrelated (yet quite connected if you’re a clever dumpling) note, I have a request of you, oh mysterious, invisible force. Will it make a difference whether you respond or not? Yes, because behind this plain font is young chap with trembling fingers and an easily influenced mind. For example, a lighthearted conversation with my mother today resulted in me agreeing to start taking piano lessons.

Story idea: finding the lost virginity. Yes or no?

- Deft

Call me a monkey, call me a man. Actually, this could go against the stereotypical fibre of what it is to be a man, so scratch the second choice. The fishing trip will have to be postponed brothers, because this monkey is looking for an upgrade.

So self improvement isn’t the goal here.  Rather, what do you do when the world (as you know it) is not enough? Do you take to the tux like Pierce Brosnan and have a final showdown with the villain in a nuclear sub?

Another inspired conclusion is to cook. Yes folks, I just watched Julie & Julia. J&J – remove a fishing hook, input a ‘P’ with a dash of Vitamin B and you’ve got yourself a tasty sandwich filler.  Poor wit aside, the film was a bit interesting and even say it isn’t so surprising. By the end, I was left wondering what my ‘Julia’ is. Or who? Probably what, though. Honestly, considering that monkeys were my favourite animal as a boy, along with bats, it’s hard to think of something that a monkey would aspire to be.

You might say, “Don’t you mean it’s hard to think of someone..?” but let me throw out a net to catch you right there.  As everything in the wonderfully organised universe stands, it would be impossible to imagine that person. Let’s face it: humans have got issues while teenage boys have got tissues. Yes, I’m deep and I’ll be here all night, folks. People do things that they’re not proud of, which means that they have pride in the first place. It’s a strange mechanic that makes little sense to me, amongst the clutter of others. Take Julia – was she all she was meant to be and more? Well, depending on whether you’ve read the book or seen the movie, you tell me. I’m sure you know people light years ahead of me, though remember, I am but a simple monkey. I don’t need anything to be perfect because that’s not a path that a monkey should have to take.

Here’s my proposition: you, if you exist, come up with a suggestion for how I could better spend my time or just fill in the time that I waste now. You could even offer some kitchen ideas. The sheer possibilities!

Until that time, I will be attempting to enter the intimidating world of home cooking. No legs were pulled in the making of this production.

P.S. Everything shall be done whilst enjoying bananas.

cr: Bar Refaeli Tumblr

- Deft

Ever feel excited? No? You poor human. I’d like to say I can help, but I’m quite clumsy and it might just end with your terrible haircut and me sobbing in corner of a hot-air balloon (in that basket thing.) What I can do, however, is feel the thrill for you while you act it out.

Yes? Maybe? Don’t know?

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I’m sorry to inform you that if you’ve read this far, you now have very little choice in the matter.

Now, I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty darn spectacular when it comes to feeling excited. My heart rate speeds up to what ought to be the average and my brain processes so quickly that I can’t even form definite ideas. In short, not too different from my outward self. Truly, I know how to feel, but expressing is a completely different ball game. Last year, I had a tutor who complained that my internal thoughts were impossible to read. Apparently I have an initial reaction, but from then on, fresh paper is less blank than my face. Apparently it happens in karaoke as well. Awkward (but true) story – one that I will not go into.

For this reason, I came close to not going to Europe next year. My daddio thought I had no interest in the trip, so was telling the universe exclusive to my household that he’d be going alone. I suppose my cancellation of plans to go to the Australian Open and Big Day Out didn’t do the ‘I have emotions’ trick. Trial and error, my friends.

In Take #2, I decided to take the assertive path. Words were exchanged, tables thrown, stars collided, but in the end telling him explicitly that I want to go to Europe despite his theories and fantasies was all it took. Elbow grease for the mouth – do try it.

While that situation is all dandy and fine for now, I hardly think that words are the best way for people to express themselves. It’s like when people say, “That’s funny,” instead of laughing: it’s not something that one can sit right with. Some day, I’ll have a repertoire of appropriate actions to use when I’m excited.

For now, however, I’ll be content to just sit here, flailing my arms and considering my completely rational love for Die Hard.

- Deft

It's because of this that I no longer own a bicycle

I’m always up for a monumental number of blasts from the past, but it’s better to keep one’s head (and preferably every physical part of them) in the present. Right?

When my friends (let’s call them that for the time being) want to watch movies at someone’s house, I’m always the one to suggest something pre-90s. Obviously, because none of us existed before the decade, such films and other paraphernalia are truly ancient. Surely. I have no problem watching black & white. On the contrary, I used to stay up late to watch these movies on television, or else I’d hang out with my mother in the middle of the day in front of the box. That plasma screen box. Don’t worry guys, you can be hip like me someday as long as you don’t mind staying away from real people (said beings do not constitute your family.)

After finishing high school, instead of going and having fun in the real world, I went to houses (occasionally my own) and watched the whole first series of Digimon. The voice acting for the digital monsters was pretty awful, but at the same time, there are moments that you don’t want to forget, such as this:

Puppetmon: What is has four strings and is made of wood?

Joe, Mimi, Gomamon & Palmon: Puppetmon!

Puppetmon: No, a violin, but that’s a good guess.

Of course, context is essential, but it could be things like this or otherwise completely different that make you wonder what happened to the world to make it the way it is today. You might think: “Why are kids shows so bad nowadays, even though I still enjoy the ones from when I was little?” “Musicians have no talent anymore,” “My back hurts.” All highly valid musings, but once considered, all inconsequential in the grand scheme of the universe.

The way I see it, the problem with the present and the future is that it’s always changing and it’s oh-so bothersome trying to keep up to date. Real people call me a K-pop freak while internet… existences ask me if I really even like the scene as I’m far too lazy to find the music myself. When you look at the world like this, you can understand why it’s just simpler to cut yourself off from every current.

“But where’s the ridiculous, hypocritical contradiction?” you must be asking yourself at this point. Well, look at my finger – where is extending to? Here. The problem with sticking yourself years back is that it’s pretty much the same as living in another universe. If any of you read comics, you will probably be familiar with the concept of parallel universes. Actually, even if you don’t, I’m sure you get the idea, but as a reader of comic books, you would almost definitely think it a ‘cool’ concept in addition to being a familiar one. (familiar as in friendly? Hey there, I like your hair) As enjoyable and relevant to your interests as history may be, the real life applications dwindle as time moves forward. When I can time travel like Doctor Who, you can be my guest, but until then, Digimon Adventure is about as useful as my non-existent sonic screwdriver.

If you live in the past, you will never learn how to deal with the present. If you live in the present, you struggle as you make progress in keeping up with the times. If you’re me, you live in the present, look to the future every now and then, while doping up on nostalgia hits. I don’t know if that makes sense, but I don’t do drugs so sue me If you can do what I do without being me, then I have to applaud you and tell you that you’re onto something special, because functioning as a human being isn’t exactly my strong suit. I do try, though. Bonus points for the effort, right?

cr: As watermarked

- Deft

Anyway, this one’s just a short post before I actually attempt to study for tomorrow’s test (on a Saturday – a Saturday) which I should, at this point in time and logically speaking (with a side dish of whipped whips), fail. Yet I won’t because, well you know how it is, I don’t want the risk of ever having to take a subject more than once. Ever.

So yes, thank you for the music, the songs I’m singing.

How many of you are familiar with the K-Indie music scene? Like I said before – pocket that judgment for another time. I know I’ve made posts about Korean Pop before, but I promise this, apart from the language, is quite different.

Despite whatever opinions you may have, while I listen to K-pop, I don’t respect it musically. It’s generally catchy, infectious and has semi-attractive idols performing it. K-Indie music, on the other hand, I respect. It’s not like the Indie scene we have here in Australia (American/Australian – I like both), but it is essentially about as alternative from the Korean Pop scene as hipster glasses are from everything good in the world. This is music that you listen to because it doesn’t induce headaches and is like butter for your ears, i.e. the taste is improved. Butter on toast, my old friend From what I’ve heard, which isn’t terribly much, a lot of the music is pretty acoustic, but pretty much anything Korean and musical that isn’t poppy comes under the K-Indie classification, so you’ll find your rock songs here.

The first K-Indie band I listened to was CNBLUE. They’re the most mainstream of the lot and basically considered part of the K-pop scene, even appearing on the weekly music shows when promoting. Over here, we’d probably say they’re a pop-rock band.

You can ignore the video part of the song. Fun fact: the girl is half Japanese, half Australian. Also, guys in a girl’s room – such a taboo. Ban that, Korea, you know you want to (oho, so topical.)

Now for the real reason I made this post: J Rabbit. They do a lot of covers as well as writing their own music and that’s all I’m going to say. You’ll just have to listen to them. Or not, it’s your choice.

(The singing starts at around 0:45)

Credits: friendznet @ Youtube

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One day I’ll write again and it won’t be about music. Probably. For now though, I’m going to the KPOP Music Fest in Sydney this November, so come at me.

- Deft

What is it?

Not cryptic at all

Tumblr, of course. Never in the history of the world has there been anyone or anything that could make human beings fall to their knees, ready to serve, quite like Tumblr. If you wanted a word in the dictionary with the definition ‘a domain regarded with intense feelings of both love and hate’, Tumblr would be that word.

It looks misspelled, but be wary, for that is simply an innocent guise. It starts with you, the strapping adventurer, setting out on a journey to explore this mysterious Tumblr that you’ve heard either so much or so little about. You look at some pictures, watch a couple of videos, listen to some tunes, grin appropriately at gifs and memes of average or above hilarity, feeling at ease and completely unthreatened, but it’s really a trap. I’m not referring to the kind commonly and oh-so stereotypically associated with Thailand, either. Seeing everything that has been reblogged and liked, you figure that you’ve got tastes that would benefit the Tumblr community. Yes, that’s right – you want to be loved. So you make a Tumblr account and this is where real life will start to plummet downward.

When you get your first random follower, you feel like you actually matter in the grand scheme of everything. When a post of yours gets reblogged or liked, you’re essentially the overlord of the entire universe. This is all dandy, but then you begin to realise the impact that this has had on your lifestyle. It hit me at 5am one morning, while I was watching videos on some attractive DJ’s blog (a person’s Tumblr is called a blog – talk about ripping us off) and then reblogging some of them. You tell yourself, “Okay, okay, I’m going to sleep now,” but here’s the truth – you’re not. Tumblr has this nifty feature where, as long as you have blogs to follow or words to type into the search bar, you can basically scroll down forever to discover whole new worlds of exciting paraphernalia (big word, I know, but don’t give up on me now!)

Sure, when you’re starting out, you probably won’t be following that many people, but you need to make yourself known! So, what do you do? Naturally, you check out the pages of people whose posts have been reblogged by people you already follow. They must have good tastes, right!? Be that as it may, like it or not, you’re a wee bit screwed.

Now, I mentioned the joys of people acknowledging your existence, right? Well, the opposite hurts. A lot. When nobody likes or reblogs your posts, you begin to ask yourself why nobody loves you. Tears start to form in your eyes, but you justify them with the number of hours you’ve spent staring at a screen. Let’s face it – you’re lonely and Tumblr doesn’t care. Unfortunately, like I said earlier, Tumblr is a trap. By this point, it’s too late – you’re not allowed to bail out. You need your fix.

Personally, when I started using Tumblr, I couldn’t figure out the purpose of it. I stopped using it after a couple of days. However, time passed and I got bored. Tumblr was there for me. I can forget about it sometimes for long periods by distracting myself, but I know that I’ll come crawling back. That is the power of Tumblr. Or should I call it Tumblor? Mightier than Gamblor with its neon claws, it rules its subjects with a cyber iron fist.

Picture credit: freshnessmag.com

- Deft

Insomnia, or the inability to sleep (for those adamant against having a scary yet brilliantly named condition), creeps under the skin and into the brains of the best of us. You tell yourself, almost proudly, “I’m going to get a good night’s sleep tonight!” hopping into bed at some time that ought to be considered criminal and out of character, based on your track record.

Unfortunately, the universe, in its ‘larger than you’ power and wisdom, decides that you’re simply not allowed to get some shuteye. It’s a pain, I know. You lie helplessly as your flow of thoughts completely disregards your wellbeing, happily becoming an overwhelming torrent that keeps you from sleep. All your efforts end in failure, making you more exhausted and frustrated, yet still incapable of slumbering peacefully.

Well, you  know what? Let it burn. Let all that pent up frustration wither under your golden rays of manipulation. Can’t sleep? Fine. Good, even! Play a game in your head, or get out of bed and do whatever it is that people do at odd hours in the morning. One night, my brain didn’t feel like shutting off, so I got out of bed at 3am, went downstairs and made myself some omurice (AKA omelette rice ). I put in so much chilli sauce that I couldn’t tell the flowing tears apart from the nose runoff. Disgusting, but it made for some good, wholesome fun.

While staying awake means that you’re going to feel like someone three times your age during the day, what can you do about it? You’d might as well maximise the time in which you’ve got energy. On the other hand, you might be desperate to sleep, but it’s all about creating an event for you to look forward to if you stay up. For example, I got home at 2am today and went straight to bed. I was lying awake for a good few hours and when I checked the time, it was 5:17 in the morning. As much as I wanted to sleep, I couldn’t, but then I saw an upside in all of this. My dad happened to be leaving for the US at 7am today, so I knew that if I fell asleep, I wouldn’t be awake to see him off. When he opened my room door at 6:45am, I was ready. It’s certainly not perfect and a tad bit corny, (I d’awwwed) but it’s better than lying on your back and lamenting over something that’s just not going to happen.

So be strong and kick your brain in the face (figuratively, please).

Picture Credit: fmhweb.com

- Deft

Oh, the metaphor

Take it from me, anyone can sound like a clever prat as long as they are tapping away on a keyboard. I would know. Give one as much time to respond with as little pressure as possible and you’ve got yourself someone who can seem like a completely capable human being.

Now, talking in real life – that right there’s a talent.

How does one strike up a conversation? It’s presents me with a painful conundrum most days of the week. It has done so, in fact, ever since I was about 14 years old. Before then, everything was inconsequential even if you didn’t know what to say because everything was, of course, all action. It was all about the activities and doing of things that kept your company’s attention and general enjoyment intact.

Before you want to be a unique individual in high school, you have a sudden epiphany that you wouldn’t mind at all if you were likable. As preposterous as it sounds now, (oh, such trash talk) I was rather self conscious once upon a time. You try to talk to people your own age, but while everyone else around you seems completely in their element, you can’t make anything click (except for maybe your tongue on the top of your mouth as you ponder what on earth there is for you to say).

Bring it all up to present day and here we are, in university, closer to the real world than we have been previously in our lives. Let me illustrate, through text, the difference between university and high school.  Sure, there’s freedom, no nagging from teachers, parties and whatnot, but the main difference for me is the sheer amount of people. Of course, I could be more specific and say “girls” rather than “people”, because I was in a boys only high school. While that would be good and dandy, it would hardly be relevant to the wider world. Besides, females can come under a complete and separately titled post, but no guarantees. (I’m lazy) University is filled with a lot of people who you could potentially (but don’t currently) know. Opportunities are everywhere, but how do you grasp them?

When I try being the one to start a conversation with a stranger in one of my classes, I’m inclined to open with, “Hey, why are we here?” Or something to that effect. It’s natural and realistic that one kick things off by talking about university, right? The problem is where to move onto after that. As far as you’re aware, the only things you’ve got in common with the person next to you is that you’re in the same educational institution undertaking, at the very least, an identical subject. Between men, once you’ve shaken one another’s hand, you’re most certainly now obliged to make hearty conversation. I’m not terribly sure of the customs regarding women. Perhaps if you can make your way to saying something along the lines of, “Oh, by the way, I’m [insert name and a charming smile here],” in the middle of your conversation rather than right at the beginning, you’ve got a foot in the door?

In my case, I need the person I’m chatting with to be able to take one small thing I say and build upon it forever. Minimal effort on my part is appreciated, because then I won’t necessarily have bags under my eyes the next time I look in a mirror. I’m never sure of what to say to people. “Do you like sports?” “What do you usually do in your free time?” and “Have you made many friends here?” are just examples of lines that I’ve used to try prolonging a conversation, but let’s be honest, they can only take you so far.

I’ll say it: I’m jealous of all the people out there who can talk comfortably with anyone. It’s an invaluable skill that I’d really love to have, but alas, I was born without that characteristic among others. If you’ve got social issues, don’t worry, you’re not alone. If you know what you’re doing without even realising it, why are you even reading this and how did you find out about this site? I’ll hunt you down.

Photo credit: As marked

- Deft

Confused? Maybe you’ll understand better with a little more balance.

1997 Hercules, anyone?

I seem to recall a few years back, the government had a commerical to promote eating healthily. They said that everyone ought to have 5 serves of vegetable and 3 serves of fruit daily. I’m not sure about you, but I don’t have that many meals in a day. It also seems rather excessive. It makes me wonder exactly what it is to have balance in one’s life?

Does it mean everything being in proportion, fifty-fifty? That can’t be true though, right? I mean, the idea of balance is that one thing will even out another. Like a cancelling effect. I punch you, you punch me and everything should be fine again, but it’s not. Now we both hurt and that’s just miserable.

The Chinese went to town with Yin and Yang.  It’s pretty brilliant in theory, what with there being a little bit of Yin in Yang and vice-versa, but it seems like a failsafe. It was as if someone thought, “Oh dear, I reckon people will try catching us out on this, so let’s make everything seem fair by mixing things up a little.” So, in essence, the Yin and Yang make a tasty cocktail for those conservative enough to believe in its practicality. Personally, I just like the symbol. It’s attractive and I would like to take it out to dinner some time, maybe take it home afterwards, put on a little gentle jazz.

Such fanciful ideas as balance are pleasant and easy on the eyes, but they go and screw the order of the universe in ways that no child should ever be exposed to. Take the US for example. They say that the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, so they joined the war. Excuse me while I put on my patronising voice. Who’s a global superpower? Who’s a global superpower??? You are. Yes, you are!!! Good stuff, that balance.

Can’t we just do away with the idea of it? It’s too much of a convenient thing to say. I’m uncoordinated and keep falling over for no reason whatsoever. I’m biased, though, so you can basically ignore everything I tell you. In fact, I recommend it.

Let’s half of us go up while the other half go down. That works.

Credit: Handling the “TRUTH?” Blog

- Deft