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Mr. Clickity Cane, You Pervert September 1, 2009

Posted by Charith in Uncategorized.
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My loyal army of perverted followers – go forth and spread your fetishistic ways influence throughout the world!

Umm, yeah... Thats a good shot...

And all the kids in the street - they like to do the same

Sexual perversion is considered to be one the more sinister crimes against women humanity in modern day society. It’s deemed unacceptable to look at devilishly underclothed (or even overclothed, as is becoming the trend in Alaska) men women out in the real world although worse things happen online. I warn you – keeping your eyes peeled is not a safe practice.

All one has to do to be considered ‘hentai’ is look at any area of a female other than their face and even that could result in disaster. It’s really quite simple and you can try it out some time. I’ve done it plenty of times – yes, how indecent of me – and the outcomes have proved to be  beneficial to my research.  You know that you’ve been successful if you are given a glare/surprised, innocent face and a less than casual, “Pervert!”

Full body analysis. That is what the average female fears and will never want to hear. It exploits their insecurities about themselves leaving them exposed to the gaze of one who they view as many. Well, aren’t we just a tad bit self-obsessed? There are some things about your figure that you just can’t change and labelling some poor, unsuspecting bystander as yet another enemy of women isn’t going to change that. You kids wear your revealing clothes – what for if all you’re going to do is use them against others?

Always be wary, boys and known-to-be-playing-for-the-other-team girls, looking at scantily clad female figures is a most cunning trap. They are really like predators, waiting to pounce on their prey. With so many people taking what little clothing you’re already wearing off with their eyes, you’d think that your figure is half decent.

Next up in line are those who are the complete opposite of these self conscious young ladies. The over confident hag one who just can’t help but to goofishly grin upon seeing themself in any mildly reflective surface. To you, I plead, get over yourself, you aren’t anything special. Trust me.

Of course, while the term ‘pervert’ is one that is grossly overused in society, there are those instances when the suspect individual is guilty. Things to look for in real perverts: –

  1. Shifty eyes. Note that the increasingly common ‘slit eye’ is notorious for its body groping action.
  2. Hair. One’s hair can say a lot about them. Short, peasant-like hair is one sign to look for. The other is hair that has been spiked. There’s no telling where those previously gel/wax/mousse caked hands have been.
  3. Whispering. When you see someone make a glance at you and then notice them making hushed conversation with a third party, stop, drop and roll all the way down the street, round the bend and all the way home.
  4. Hands. Restless hands are hands that have been stained with corruption. They aren’t getting cleansed of that any time soon. Once again, do not approach something when you have no clue as to where it might have previously been.
  5. Short-lived ignorance. Someone turning away upon you entering their field of vision for a curt period of time is bound to be venting some emotion or thought through facial expression or body movement. Well, this could work two ways – they either think that you’re something to look at or you just aren’t the person they wanted to see. Sometimes there is never a good time.

Obviously, there are more signs to look out for, but I wouldn’t want to go incriminating anyone who seems to find a severe lack of posterior incredibly arousing appealing.

______________________________________________

Well, that took surprisingly longer than I had predicted. I’ll be incredibly busy these next couple of days, so don’t expect much, if anything at all, out of me until Friday evening. I’ve already botched two assessments this week, only two more to go.

– Deft

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Comments»

1. callypigian - September 2, 2009

Very nice Charith, just finished reading all the posts on this blog couldn’t be bothered commenting each one.

Really enjoying your writing style keep it up (Y).

Also a priceless picture for this post.

2. Lemmer - September 2, 2009

hmm i am soo special… ooh whispering means people are perving on me yay i get perved on well i guess i only think its good coz im soo vain. but when you’re me and u stand in front of the mirror naked u can’t help it

Deft-Monkey - September 2, 2009

You seem to have not understood the implication that the perverts I’m referring to only look at females. Sorry, but you do not fit the criteria.

I don’t know women well enough to go making a list of their habits just yet.

3. WRX22B1998 - September 3, 2009

bahahhaha

i dun blame the kid :P


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