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One of them strange things. Seems nice. November 14, 2009

Posted by Swifty in Observations.
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So, here I am, when I should really be typing my Physics report. Which I have finished, by the way.
So, how are we all today?
I’m just here to discuss something close to my heart. Random grenade spamming. I’m really joking, as it doesn’t worry me at all.

The idea behind my post today, apart from the fact that Deft is INSISTING that I post sometime soon, is my current experiences with randoms and complete insubordination with the relative minor keys of society. Quite frankly, I really don’t care that much about the douchebags of our day?

What do I define as a douchebag? Hang on, let me find a picture. Oh, even better, I found a video

Now, that’s pretty much a  good douchebag example, and i know quite a few, much to my distaste. I’d like them to kindly piss off and die, as I could do better without them. However, what would make my day more than watching a douchebag fail? Nothing. So that reinforces that douchebags are indeed an important part of our society, much like masks, as I was talking about in a previous post. What many of us don’t inderstand is that, we all, are in one way or another, a douchebag in someone’s elses eyes.

Now, the real Wikipedia definition of douchebag is

A douche is a device used to introduce a stream of water into the body for medical or hygienic reasons, or the stream of water itself.

Douche usually refers to vaginal irrigation, the rinsing of the vagina, but it can also refer to the rinsing of any body cavity. A douche bag is a piece of equipment for douching—a bag for holding the fluid used in douching. To avoid transferring intestinal bacteria into the vagina, the same bag must not be used for a vaginal douche and an enema.

However, the Urban Dictionary’s definition is much more amusing

The term “douchbag” generally refers to a male with any number of characteristics not associated with one particular region or age demographic. Douchebag is a combination of attitude qualities, social ability, and attire.

In terms of geography douchebags can be found nearly anywhere. For instance, douchebags can be seen in New Jersey where fake diamond earrings, frosted spiked hair, Razor phones, half a can of Axe, unbuttoned collared shirts, Fossil watches, overly groomed chinstraps, backwards colored Yankee hats with the sticker still attached and 2002 Mustangs are considered “tight.” At the same time douchebags are also plentiful in the Southwest where on any given Wednesday night on frat row in Tempe you can find males who find it “sweet shit” to wear pink collared shirts, while donning the following attire: pukka-shelled necklaces, fake skater shoes, have some variation of an Asian symbol tattoo on their shoulder or back, wear a Hurley hat that sits cockeyed on their head, throw various fake gang signs during pictures and drive their dad’s old white 1997 convertible M3 BMW. They also generally find the length of time one drinks while doing a “keg-stand” directly correlates with the amount of pussy one can get.

As mentioned douchebags transcend not only various geographical locations, but age demographics as well. For instance, douchebags are quite often seen just south of Sarasota, FL as evidenced by 45 year old men who still wear Oakley’s, shave their chests, wear shirts that read “ride” on the front and “me” on the back, and think its cool to wear white K-Swiss’. They are usually on first name basis with the girls at Hooters, and think white T-shirt contests with 1/2 half-off Margaritas are better than a baseball game with $1 beers. At the same time, we can see young 21 year old douchebags in West L.A. who still think that Dolce Gabana belt buckles, and fo-hawks are “pimp shit.”

In terms of behavior douchebags have an over-inflated sense of self worth, lack the social ability to interact with non-douchebags, and have tricked their minds into thinking that they “get mad pussy.” The irony is that they very rarely get pussy, but amazingly have the amazing propensity to talk quite often about allegedly getting it.

Example 1:

Person One: Yo–did you see that guy wearing the Abercrombie hat and leather jacket park his crotch rocket right in front of the bar, and rev his engine for 15 seconds?

Person Two: You mean the guy who ordered 25 “Jag-bombs”? Yea, that guy was a fucking douchebag

Real life doucebags: Keven Federline, Nick Lachey, any dude on The Hills, most of New Jersey,

I’d like to say, that I’m sure a lot of people consider me a douchebag, but that needs not worry me, so, goodnight, and farewell.
– O:

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Comments»

1. Geo - November 15, 2009

There there Kendrick, go dream of MW2 multi.

O: - November 15, 2009

HOORAH FOR SNIPING + TEH RANDOM GRENADES.

Geo - November 15, 2009

Fucking tubers. HELP ME IN MY MISSION TO FUCK THEM ALL UP.


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