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A Happy Life is an Unhealthy Life November 25, 2009

Posted by Charith in Uncategorized.

I should probably be doing my physics tuition homework, but it’ll take hours to do and I don’t have the energy or willpower to do it after doing some major work. If your face is really unattractive, you might understand that. Otherwise, just sit there and look pretty, sweety.

Burgers, fries, soft drinks, donuts, chocolate biscuits, ice cream, potato chips, lollies (both chewy and hard, if you get my meaning), pizza, kebabs, cakes, cookies (they deserve to be separated from the category of biscuits), pussy cat balut instant noodles, instead everything else, coffee, Amy Winehouse, hot chocolate and the list goes on. These are just a few of the consumables that scientists and dietitians recommend we stay away from. Careful boys and girls, they’ve found out our weakness – everything that is holy.

I think you'll find that you're number 2

On television, on the radio, in newspapers and other places which I’m too tired to think of, the human race as a general conglomerate are continually in the line of fire from critics who insist that we’re killing ourselves with the food we eat. Yeah, I’m so subtly suicidal that I destroy my body over the long term. If that were the truth, I’d be just the slightest bit proud of myself for such ingenuity.

The government spends tax payers money on health campaigns, trying to encourage the populace to eat, drink and exercise well. “A healthy body is a happy body.”

That’s the word that seems to be going around, at least. I feel that we’re having the message shoved down our throats so much though, that it just makes us sick. Not the “wicked, we be trippin’ bro” kind either. How can we be expected to be happy by having to be so self conscious all the time? Maintaining diet, keeping up your fluids, getting regular exercise – just the thought of it is giving me stress lines (oh, you so mature). I could be at a restaurant eating a 3 star garden salad, sipping fresh spring water with a hint of lemon juice and then top it all off by going for a romantic, candlelit walk by myself through the park in the middle of the night. Well, it would be romantic, just not for me Oh, what a joyous occasion that would be!

But alas, this fairytale relationship with my food was not to be so! I don’t care how good it supposedly is, I would rather eat a pizza than the weeds from someone’s garden. Of course, I would have vegetables and/or salad with the pizza, but if “scientific research” has told us anything, it’s that pizza, along with everything except fruits, vegetables and salads can cause cancer. Honestly, I think I’d risk it. I’ve got the Sun hot on my heels anyway. He called and said that he wanted his sunglasses back.

Why stop us from eating the greasy, fun fat filled delectibles that we do so treasure? Yes, we know it’s not good for our bodies. We’re perfectly aware that we may develop diseases, high cholesterol and blood pressure, resulting in an early death. I can’t seem to understand it though, where’s the shame in dying happily?

The longer we live, it’s not guaranteed that we’ll have more ups in our lives, but hey, you don’t even need to spend money to add your downer list. It’s remarkable how it  can get longer just by waking up a little later than you should have or sharpening your pencil only to have the lead break (thank heavens for pens and pacers) time and time again. At least if we’re eating junk food, we’re in control of our lives more than at any other point. If, at the age of 31, I’m lying on the floor weighing up at 300kg over average, I’ll accept that I did it to myself, but I won’t have any regrets. One can’t call it an incomplete life just because the ever increasing age of death is more than twice that of ours. When I’m dying, considering I get the chance to know when I’m about to die, I’d like to be able to think that in my life, I got to do things my way and I enjoyed doing them.

I love junk food. The scent potato scallops in boiling oil rattles my friction sensors. In a good way. Definitely a good way. I love fried chicken and any Malay ‘homeboys’ and ‘homegirls’ would have no qualms as to how splendid an invention it is. The brilliant idea of fried coke would have never come to fruition if Coca~Cola didn’t exist in the first place. Thank you Texas, I have yet to try it, but I hear it split the world in half up there in Houston. NASA must be rolling around in their coffee-stained coats, trying to keep their fuel-saving pleasure in their pants.

Well, I was going to mention weight-loss companies such as Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers, but there just isn’t enough time. So I’ll live you with some final words of truth:

Food is sexy. I am not, yet it never judges me. It accepts me for who I am and is always there for me. Obesity is a small price to pay when in return you get a friend for life. Food for life.

Photo Credit: – http://www.wellingtongrey.net/miscellanea/store/store.html

– Deft



1. Lemmer - November 25, 2009

hehehe ilovejunkfoodalways :D
but don’t deny your own sexiness
we are as sexy as we believe we are…
in which case im like frigging god-like :D

Deft-Monkey - November 25, 2009

In that case then, I’m Elizabeth I, the ugliest of them all.

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