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Spreading Cupid’s Severe Dislike February 21, 2010

Posted by Charith in Uncategorized.

I was going to make this post on the 14th, but it  just didn’t happen as I was pre-occupied with various tasks. I’m told that that was Valentine’s Day, but I’m still not really sure.

He... uh... fell for the ground

It’s not that hard to be able to tell what is when and when is what, correct? I would have thought so, but something went wrong along the timeline. I predicted Valentine’s Day to be complete with fine pleasures. It wasn’t. It really wasn’t.

In my opinion, bad days are bad and Valentine’s Day belongs among these treacherous periods of time. I was intending to stay at home and eat French mudcake. Everyone knows that the French are meant to be romantic and I was going to make sweet, sweet love to that remaining half a mudcake. It was to be sensual. It was to be an erotic experience never to be forgotten. I suppose it was never forgotten, but that could possibly be due to the fact that it never came to pass.

I woke up at 7:30 in the AM (many thanks to Flo Rida, my man) just to start watching some film that I was meant to analyse for English. Yay. Fun. Yippee. I’m like a monkey on ice. GIVE. ME. MORE. Yeah. I watched. Wrote. Watched. Took some notes. Watched. Saw my mum walk into the room. Watched with my mum. Finished the film. Rewound and noted quotes. Forgive me. I’m like a monkey on ice. That, and crack.

I phoned my friend who taught me about some nifty 20 minute calls trick. “Okay, 20 minutes. I’ll hang up. Then call you back.”

I’m told it works. Who knows? Certainly not me. We talked for about an hour. It was Chinese New Year for her. Valentine’s Day for me. Main difference was that she was celebrating the New Year with her red packets while I did no such thing. Valentine’s Day, coined as V-Day for short, really offers nothing for those single people in the world like myself. Remember that French mudcake that I spoke of before? Yeah, by the time I got to the cake tin, it was gone. Finished. Someone stole my cake. Someone stole my heart. Without a cake to express my feelings for, what else is there? My work? Pssh, sure, I did it, but I didn’t like it. There was no satisfaction. I didn’t feel like I was glowing afterwards. Cake is kind. Work is unforgiving.

Seriously, eshays bro. No, actually, essays brother. That’s what I did. I was a good boy on V-Day. Every break I took involved me pumping myself up by shaking my fist and muttering under my breath, “Yeah! Work! Work – yeah. Let’s do it! Do it, yeah! Chu, chu fo’ you! Yeah!”

I didn’t understand then. I don’t understand now. I don’t want to understand. That purely commercial day isn’t worth the trouble. I’m sure it would be just as bad if I was, to put it the Facebook way, “in a relationship.” I’d get to spend money. Excellent. What do I get? Not much, really. I do admit, it would be nice to get some chocolates, maybe a card, some flowers, feel a little loved by the end of the day. Sure. Now I just need a uterus and some birth control pills and the illusion will be complete.

Thinking back on it, my Valentine’s Day wasn’t that bad, just that there was nothing to make it pleasant. I just figured that the event didn’t like me because I was cleaning my shower cubicle and ended up breaking the amenities rack. Was it my fault that it got stuck when I was putting it back on the wall? There was no logical reason that I could see and even conjure in my mind to explain why it would not return to its original position. I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty adept at inventing nonsensical justification for near anything. Anyone could argue that they are better than me and they are probably right. I don’t need to be the best at anything, I just need to be capable of doing a few things here and there. Will my sister forgive me for breaking the amenities rack? I hope so. Will I forgive Valentine’s Day? For the rack, sure. For existing in the first place? Unlikely. Working citizens would be richer if it didn’t exist. Like you need an excuse to treat someone you like to something special. Come into the real world, please. Just for a little while is enough.

Stretching my arms now, I know I probably won’t read through this for a while because it’ll just confuse me. “Monkey on ice,” really? It’s been too long since I’ve done this last. I need to get accustomed to posting properly again. This sensation is weird, this weather is humid. Not an ideal combination.

To my friend/cousin (I’m not sure which you are anymore) Devoushi – no, I will not be coming to your birthday. There is forever work to be done. I ought to be doing it now. Instead, I’ll be doing it on the day of your party. A thousand apologies.

– Deft



1. Seng Aun - February 23, 2010

I’m guessing the 20 minute calls trick has something to do with call charges? Hmm..

Deft-Monkey - February 23, 2010

Something to do with the phone bill, yeah. I didn’t understand much past that.

2. chris - March 6, 2010

i agree valentines day is smelly :P

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