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Don’t Get Even, Get on the Internet February 22, 2010

Posted by Charith in Day-to-day happenings.

Today’s been a tad bit of a roller coaster in school with mathematics teachers and whatnot going AWOL. So I thought I’d drop by, kicking my abnormally tiny heels into my high horse, and provide kind folks at home like yourselves with some light, evening entertainment.

Thanks Twitter, for making me feel better about myself for not using you

I’ve got three words for you – social networking. See what I did there? Drawing emphasis to the fact that my maths teacher left me, among others, to rot in a pit of failure. I kid, the replacement teacher is better and I was destined to fall into the abyss from the beginning. If you aren’t acquainted with this, uh… Integral element of the interwebs, you will be soon.

Myspace , Facebook, Twitter (I’ve never twatted before – am I missing out?), Xanga and Bebo (thinking about it gives me chills) are but a few of the growing number of social networking sites for internet users around the globe. You can virtually meet anyone through this technology, if I may call it so, and the size of your e-genitalia can increase tremendously depending on how many “friends” you have. I am rather pleased to share that upon closer inspection of my friends list, I am inclined to say that my prick in a packet (or a few! Hur hur… Low-level geek speak, anyone?) is really quite negligible in contrast to the majority of the online population.

For the sake of this post, I will use Facebook as my prime example, half because I’ve stopped using Myspace and my ego just can’t handle the others, while the other half is because Facebook is quite relevant to a soon-to-be-written part of this post.

So Facebook, how are you going? I think you’re really pretty… Will you go out with me? (social networking sites are easy) what can you do?  Probably better to ask what you can’t do because you can make friends, make real friends, show people that you’re in a less than serious business relationship, cyber bully (that big boy was mean to me… I’m gonna rip his heart out so fast that he sees it beating before his eyes as he dies… Hee hee, that last bit rhymed), post pictures/photos, make notes for people to read, comment on almost anything and like just as much. I still wonder, where is my bloody ‘Dislike’ button!?

Yes, you can use social networking services for almost anything. Soon, it will become synonymous with speed dating. I look forward to that day. So this is where things get interesting and now I’m not going to lie to you – you might like this, you might not, it’s completely up to the type of person that you are. I personally found it amusing, but I’ll be blatantly honest in saying that it was cruel and harsh. Then again, revenge usually is.

Sorry, if you had trouble reading that, but it was worth the trouble, am I right?

I read that and I wonder, “Is revenge really that sweet?”

Answer: Sweeter than a honeybee on crack, my large-nosed friend.

Credits go to Tuffty at JPH!P.com for that find. Thank you, you made my day. Some may think me cruel for taking pleasure in such an immature act of vengeance, but, to put it bluntly, I find it amusing to see people use social networking services for evil rather than good. Honestly, 12 bottles of beer – that kid was out line going and find that golden list in his sister’s room. I’m Asian, therefore so are my parents, which means I get in trouble and booze are suddenly a big no-no forever more. Boohoo. Does poor, widdle diddums want some cyanide to make it all just go away?

Like I said, 12 bottles of beer isn’t worth destroying your sibling’s social life forever, but in the same tone, what on Earth could someone gain from dobbing in their misguided, little brother? Personally, being a little bro (rhymes with ho) myself, I feel that it’s not for the good of the boy with his interests in heart, but rather just for the mere self-satisfaction of being able to say, “Hey mum and dad, Billy-Anderson has beer in his room and you’ll never get this – apparently in this country, he’s underage!!!”

But fine, consider it the logical, unbiased way, and suggest that the sister, I’ll just call her Katie from now on (and similarly her brother, Chris) because typing family titles is tiresome,  really was doing it for the best of her brother, Chris, what overall effect does it have? “Hey, I’m doing this because I love you. I don’t want you ending up on the streets when you’re older or getting into drunken brawls.”

Little boys don’t learn that way. We generally take on the barbaric ‘sticks & stones’ ideology. Basically, we learn best through experience and it’s only after those bad things happen that you reiterate your “I told you so” point and make a fool of the kid at the same time.

So enough of telling people how they should act in situations and on to the actual screenshot. Do girls really have such lists? If so, I want one, just so I can have the sensation that going out in public is like going to a shopping centre. “I want that one, that one and uh… That one! Can I get her in pink?” I find it interesting to delve into the human psychology. It really can be fun.

Second question – who is this Brett fellow? I’d like to meet him. So that we can discuss the finer points of the female form, says I as I shake my head wondering at what you must all think of me by now. God, huh? I think you’d better let me make that call, Katie.

The comments. I don’t even have to quote them. They are brilliant, even if they do make me pity poor ol’ Katie. I wonder what the parents are like?

Well, I rap up here, finishing what turned out to be a pretty agreeable day.


– Deft



1. jennahh - February 23, 2010

interesting stuff. i saw that on fb too =D maybe you should have talked about how people just join every group they see.

human psychology?? it’s probably the only thing worth studying.

Deft-Monkey - February 23, 2010

Perhaps another time with the completely unjustified joining of groups apart from the rather obvious “Look at me, I join groups, therefore I must be the baddest homie runnin’ these streets, yo.”

The thing is, everybody knows about the group joining and whether or not they care is unknown to me. Besides, I just wanted something light in tone this time around. I’m not sure if I could’ve resisted getting too serious in one about people joining random groups. Seems more like a troll topic to me.

Yep, you’re right about human psychology, but a part of me wants to resist its allure because we all know how crazy psychologists are.

2. chris - March 6, 2010

yeah i totally wish more girls’ lists would be posted online.. or at least that i could see if i was on any lists?…

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