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It’s Not My Fault March 31, 2010

Posted by Charith in Observations.

Well, actually, quite on the contrary, dear self. It would seem that it is all your fault, all your own and no one else is to blame.

Talking to myself aside, I do it because I get so lonely sometimes there are some gizzets (just another word for ‘things’ because I’m creative, artistic, autistic and all that jazz) that have the uncanny ability to delve right under your skin and into your veins, being pumped all the way to your sorry excuse for a brain. At this point, they nitpick away at you, niggling away at you from the inside out. Eventually you figure that enough is enough – something must be done!

Unfortunately, I don’t think such thoughts are so simply put into practice. As the saying goes, old habits die hard.

What ‘unique quality’ do you possess? I’m home to a few. Not sure how special they make me, but it always makes me warm and fuzzy inside to think, “Yay, I’m my own person!”

Bollocks. Full of it. I’ll always be chained to society, but back on topic. Habits. I’d have to confess that my most prominent one would be my tendency to smile and, yes, I dare admit it, laugh in the face of death. Of course, not my own. That would just be sick and rather the attention-seeking kind of “Hey mate, I wanna die! No, you don’t understand – I reeeaalllyy want to die. You can’t even begin to imagine!  Can I have some pity? Yes, for free. I’m sorry I wasted your time, I’ll just go and die in a corner now. Tell the world for me, yeah?” That was just a tad bit drawn out. Unnecessary as usual. What can I say? Another habit. But indeed, I grin and bust a nut of hilarity juice at funerals and even when talking about people who have died.

It’s the truth which I’m full of, may I add. I’m smirking right now just contemplating the thought. At the tender age of 11 years old, I was trying to tell my mother dearest that the sister of a good friend of mine passed away. Of course, my tale was considered of the taddle species because I couldn’t stop laughing. In the end, phone calls were made (well, really only the one) and my mum was unpleasantly surprised.

However, that’s a bit of an extreme example perhaps. I can’t help the way I react. Surely people who cry in happiness are just as disgruntled with their unexplained oddity, right? [Note to self: Do not try writing while listening to ‘Sexy Love’. Gears don’t whir. Rather, they grind, sending sparks flying all over, setting fire to gas-filled mind sacks. Mindplosion – fun. No thanks.]

Not all habits are frowned upon, though. Nope, quite on the contrary, there are many tiny characteristics of people that work to fascinate and/or seduce others. Sorry, I don’t fall for subtexts in common mishaps such as “Oops, I dropped my pen, now I want to reveal most of my deceptively huge cleavage to you.” Thank you, Elle Woods. I find some quirks rather adorable. Like one particular Korean Pop idol (it’s not an obsession, just a healthy interest!) who will remain unnamed, she has a way of poking her tongue out that’s cute. Not suggestive, but just plain innocent and wholesome.

Now, I don’t want to come across as a guy whose mind is only fixated on the opposite sex, as intriguing as they may be. I can be fair at times. This happens to be one of them. While my elaborate ploy to stall you does its job, I will devise some devilishly smashing male tendency. An erection is not a habit How about the way we laugh at jokes that aren’t even funny? No? Well, I don’t see many girls who do that, unless they genuinely find those jokes amusing. Maybe you’ll prefer that seemingly emasculate compulsion that some members of my cult fraternity ‘illegitimate boy scouts interested in naughty paraphernalia’ group gender species have which involves them adjusting/fixing their hair upon seeing people they know or feel they need to impress, all the while giving off the appearance of not noticing what it is they’re doing. No, you weren’t just bored or scratching your head, you were fixing your hair. If it’s so important, honestly, just whip out your pocket mirror that you carry around with you because you’re not doing a good job with your blind hand.

I don’t know, is that cute, girls? Do share, I might start depending on your responses.

Photo credits: http://javasbachelorpad.com

– Deft



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