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The Right Kind of Word Vomit March 4, 2011

Posted by Charith in Day-to-day happenings, Observations, Uncategorized.
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Being socially apt is natural to many and I’m often confronted by disbelief and admiration something in the absence of sympathy when I let slip to my dear fans that I am not the most articulate of people. No, that’s not putting it the right way. My articulation varies depending on the situation, which I’m sure applies to many who hide behind handles and other kinds of masks on the internet.

Oh, the metaphor

Take it from me, anyone can sound like a clever prat as long as they are tapping away on a keyboard. I would know. Give one as much time to respond with as little pressure as possible and you’ve got yourself someone who can seem like a completely capable human being.

Now, talking in real life – that right there’s a talent.

How does one strike up a conversation? It’s presents me with a painful conundrum most days of the week. It has done so, in fact, ever since I was about 14 years old. Before then, everything was inconsequential even if you didn’t know what to say because everything was, of course, all action. It was all about the activities and doing of things that kept your company’s attention and general enjoyment intact.

Before you want to be a unique individual in high school, you have a sudden epiphany that you wouldn’t mind at all if you were likable. As preposterous as it sounds now, (oh, such trash talk) I was rather self conscious once upon a time. You try to talk to people your own age, but while everyone else around you seems completely in their element, you can’t make anything click (except for maybe your tongue on the top of your mouth as you ponder what on earth there is for you to say).

Bring it all up to present day and here we are, in university, closer to the real world than we have been previously in our lives. Let me illustrate, through text, the difference between university and high school. ¬†Sure, there’s freedom, no nagging from teachers, parties and whatnot, but the main difference for me is the sheer amount of people. Of course, I could be more specific and say “girls” rather than “people”, because I was in a boys only high school. While that would be good and dandy, it would hardly be relevant to the wider world. Besides, females can come under a complete and separately titled post, but no guarantees. (I’m lazy) University is filled with a lot of people who you could potentially (but don’t currently) know. Opportunities are everywhere, but how do you grasp them?

When I try being the one to start a conversation with a stranger in one of my classes, I’m inclined to open with, “Hey, why are we here?” Or something to that effect. It’s natural and realistic that one kick things off by talking about university, right? The problem is where to move onto after that. As far as you’re aware, the only things you’ve got in common with the person next to you is that you’re in the same educational institution undertaking, at the very least, an identical subject. Between men, once you’ve shaken one another’s hand, you’re most certainly now obliged to make hearty conversation. I’m not terribly sure of the customs regarding women. Perhaps if you can make your way to saying something along the lines of, “Oh, by the way, I’m [insert name and a charming smile here],” in the middle of your conversation rather than right at the beginning, you’ve got a foot in the door?

In my case, I need the person I’m chatting with to be able to take one small thing I say and build upon it forever. Minimal effort on my part is appreciated, because then I won’t necessarily have bags under my eyes the next time I look in a mirror. I’m never sure of what to say to people. “Do you like sports?” “What do you usually do in your free time?” and “Have you made many friends here?” are just examples of lines that I’ve used to try prolonging a conversation, but let’s be honest, they can only take you so far.

I’ll say it: I’m jealous of all the people out there who can talk comfortably with anyone. It’s an invaluable skill that I’d really love to have, but alas, I was born without that characteristic among others. If you’ve got social issues, don’t worry, you’re not alone. If you know what you’re doing without even realising it, why are you even reading this and how did you find out about this site? I’ll hunt you down.

Photo credit: As marked

Deft

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Comments»

1. Dr Lemlemz - March 4, 2011

Like. Dude, I have no idea how to start convos… And when they end do you like ask the person to add your Facebook or get their number? Or what? Is it easier to just not talk to anyone??


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